Glad You Came
by iwannastillbeme
Summary: Takes place the year after most New Directions students have graduated. It's more focused on original characters but there are a lot of familiar people from previous seasons of Glee and it takes place at McKinley, obviously.


**Playing God**

"So make sure to have the payments for the trip in by then." Mr. Jenson sat in his tall chair on top of the conductor's stand, leaning back slightly as he went over the different band activities planned for this upcoming school year. Specifically, he was talking about our Winter Trip. We were going to some conference in Michigan. Katy flashed me a thumbs up from across the room in the clarinet section, along with a hopeful smile. I tried to smile back, but I don't think she was convinced. It was kind of annoying, how confused everyone was by my behavior. I just wanted them to know why I was so different and then leave me alone, but at the same time I was absolutely terrified of them finding out.

"… We have a couple of kids from the Glee club here to talk to you." Around half of the class snickered. Glee club was even less cool than Band. I'm not going to pretend that nobody in Band has ever received a slushie to the face, but it's generally only if you do something really bad to piss off a popular kid. The Glee kids got bullied a whole lot more. My friend Sammy joined Glee last year but she quit after less than a week because of all the shit she got for it.

Mr. Jenson gestured to two boys and one girl who had been awkwardly standing by the door for the past five minutes. The girl was Asian and wore a lot of eye shadow. One of the guys had dark curly hair that had been obnoxiously gelled down. The first thing I noticed about the other boy was his football uniform… I began to feel a bit nauseous looking at it. I felt my hands beginning to shake in my lap where they had been resting on my flute. I clenched them together tightly, trying to stop the trembling. God, I couldn't get through one day without something reminding me of what had happened.

Mr. Jenson stepped off of his conductor's stand and the hair gel boy and Asian girl took his place. The football player stood to the side. I noticed that the ones standing on the stand were barely taller than the football player, despite the additional height of the stand. I couldn't stop looking at that damn football uniform. My heart rate was rising. Shit, I was gonna puke. I tried to take deep breaths and focus on the boy and girl talking. The boy introduced himself as Blaine, the girl as Tina.

"Last year, much of the Glee club graduated. If any of you would like to join the club, that would be absolutely fantastic." Blaine said. My eyes wandered back over to the football player. Damn it. I needed to distract myself from what he was wearing. I looked at his face instead. His facial expression, and just the general way that he held himself, was really self-confident. Almost annoyingly so. He was looking around the room. First at the trophies lining the wall, and then scanning the faces of the band members. He looked too old to be a freshman, but I hadn't seen him around last year…

"But we're here for a different reason." Tina added. "We came to the band because many members of our band graduated last year."

"So, do any of you play guitar or the keyboard?" I glanced at Blaine. He looked and sounded so eager and hopeful. My eyes slid back to the football player somewhat absent mindedly, to see him looking right at me.

I felt a combination of amazement at his bright blue eyes and of complete, irrational terror. I guess that terror showed on my face, because his face developed that confused look that I'd gotten so many times since the new school year had started… that look that asked why I wasn't laughing, or talking a mile a minute, or even smiling at all. The look that asked why I wasn't being myself. He didn't drop his gaze, but I looked away.

A few people had raised their hands. Katy and half of the flute section were giving me confused looks. A different kind of confused, though. A why-the-hell-aren't-you-raising-your-hand type of confused. Right, because I'd been playing guitar for years. Because I was actually really good. The key word being was. I hadn't practiced since July.

I swallowed to stop myself from throwing up. This is what sucks about having something so terribly life changing happen—you can't think about what's been changed without thinking about what happened. And since a life changing event changes everything, there's nothing you can think about. That's why I was having such a rough first week of school. Everyone and everything about this place reminded me of that terrible night in July. I couldn't even look at some new kid without seeing his football jersey, without being reminded.

Blaine was writing down the names of the ten or so people that had raised their hands. Despite how uncool Glee was, band kids were serious about their instruments. They'd take any opportunity to play, especially in a smaller group where they could show off more. People were still looking at me, wondering why I wasn't volunteering, because, of course, I used to be one of those show offs. They knew I was good.

"Wow, okay, I guess we won't have to pull the 'Glee club really _is_ cool' line here." Blaine laughed.

"That's the only reason they brought along the football player." Football player said, flashing a smile at the group.

"I don't believe I've met you." Lisa said, smiling flirtatiously at him from next to me. She was tall and blonde, one of those band kids that was really too cool to be in band. And she was flirting with the football guy from Glee club. I guess he did kind of look like a male model.

Some trumpet players whistled at her flirtatiousness. He just looked her right in the eye, still smiling.

"I'm Jason. I've just moved here from Cincinnati."

"I'm Lisa. It's nice to meet you, Jason."

A couple more whistles from various guys in the band, and then Blaine was done with his list, said something about auditions next week, and they walked towards the door. Jason didn't glance at me again… well, of course he didn't. I was just some random weird sad looking girl. Most of the people who had been wondering why I didn't volunteer had been distracted by Lisa and Jason, but not Katy. The bell rang. I packed up my flute as slowly as I could, but eventually I had to walk over to my band locker, where Katy was waiting. I unlocked it and opened it up, putting my flute in its case into the locker, while she stood there wearing the most dramatic representation of the confused face that I'd seen thus far.

"What the hell is going on, Jade?" she finally said.

I didn't answer.

"Because you've been acting really weird. Now they ask for a guitar player, and you don't volunteer? Um, you love to play guitar. Don't say that you don't think you'd beat all those other guys, because you're the best guitar player I've ever met and you know that. I'm your best friend, right?"

"Yea." I managed to get out.

"I'm supposed to be here for you, right? So just- just tell me what's wrong!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Nothing's wrong."

Her confused face now just looked sad. And a little bit pissed.

"I know something is. I thought you trusted me, you know."

She stormed out of the room. I closed the locker and re-did the lock. There was time when I would have gotten pissed right back, because she thinks that everything revolves around her when really this situation has absolutely _nothing_ to do with her. I would rant about how she was being so damn self-centered and it just wasn't fair to me. But I couldn't bring myself to care.

I picked up my backpack and walked out into the hallway, towards my next class.

"Jade! Hey!" I heard Sammy from behind me. Shit, I was gonna cry. I just didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I guess talking to Sammy was better than someone else, though. She's really oblivious to everyone else's behavior (which is usually a bad thing, but not today) and she talks a lot.

"Hey Sam!" I said, trying to make my voice as bright and upbeat as possible. I'm a terrible actor, but I guess Sammy bought it.

"Guess what? I joined Glee club!"

"Didn't you try that last year?"

"Yea, I know. But I think there's something this year that'll make the bullying totally worth it… have you met Jason Stockton?"

Dear God.

"Um, yea, he and some other Glee kids talked to the band last period."

"Oh my God he's so hot. But what for?"

"Oh, um, Glee club needs new band members."

"Oh my God, I can't wait. We'll be in Glee together! You can like play the amazing guitar parts on some alternative pop song, how about something by Paramore? We can work together for the first song I perform for the club! Oh my God! This is so exciting!" She squeezed my arm. I flinched slightly. Well, that idea would have been so appealing just a few months ago. Paramore's my favorite band. I know all of the guitar parts… although, who knows if I'd still be able to play them.

I didn't have the heart to tell Sam that I hadn't actually volunteered, so I just let her babble on for a little while. Then she had to turn to go to her history class so she said goodbye and walked away. It was actually kind of nice, talking to her. If I had to be forced into a social interaction, at least it could be with someone who was completely oblivious to the fact that I'm not okay.

I turned right at the next hallway.

Then I saw him.

James Bradford.

He winked at me, smirking slightly.

Then he kept walking.

I ran to the bathroom and threw up.


End file.
